⋆ CHAPTER SEVEN - FIRE AND DESIRE III ⋆

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“Nothing ever seems to come out right. But it’s hard to remember dreams, and I know that you won’t tell me everything. But you say I'm in your memory, and that’s fine. Fuck, I think I know his name now; I hope that I don’t go insane now; if so, I’ll have to blow his brains out. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, and I keep thinking about you and I."

⋆ CHAPTER SEVEN - FIRE AND DESIRE III ⋆

Michaela Williams was the only thing on my mind; I couldn’t focus on school and baseball and definitely couldn’t get back into writing my novel. All I could think about her and how she and I were meant to be, but Michaela couldn’t see that, or she just didn’t want to see it. Couldn’t she tell how much I love her? I know that she heard about the Dallas situation; did that scare her? I couldn’t help myself, Dallas knew the rules, and he went for it anyway; I was only trying to protect her. Couldn’t she see that? I didn’t care about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her. She was everything to me, but I was nothing to her, and the more I tried to show her how much I loved her or needed her, the more she pulled away from me. I’ve never had this happen to me before, women always did what I wanted them to do, but Michaela was different. The kind of difference that was driving me insane, and I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. Was she worth it? I wasn’t sure that she was worth it anymore. But on the other hand, I knew that my feelings for her could only grow deeper, and I tried my hardest to shake them off, but they always came back. Michaela Williams was in my bloodstream, and I couldn’t get her out, nor did I want to. Not in this life.

The sound of his boot-clad feet hitting the ground was the only sound in the empty apartment; his feet moved from one side of the room to another side of the room. His bawdy digits held the bottle in his hand, taking a sip from time to time and his fingers combed through his short blonde locks. His head was shaking as he continued to pace, and he mumbled under his breath as the door to his apartment crept open to reveal Tyler. He caught sight of his friend's expression momentarily before he took another sip of the bourbon. “Josh, what the fuck? Where have you been, man?” Josh’s shoulders lifted upward in a nonchalant shrug. No words escaped his mouth. “Man, you need to let this go.” Dry laughter escaped Josh’s lips as he placed the now empty bottle on the countertop, shifting his eyes onto his friend. The space between them was no longer visible as he placed his palms against Tyler’s shoulder blades. “You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. That’s my girl, and I will never let her go.” Tyler’s head shook, and his hand waved across his face due to the alcohol burning his nose. “Josh, you are drunk. You aren’t thinking straight.” Josh’s laughter only grew louder as he removed his palms from Tyler’s frame. “Actually, I think you are wrong. Everything is crystal clear. It’s time for me to get my girl.” Smirk curled onto Josh’s lips as his head nodded a few times. “Josh, I am telling you this because I am your friend and no one else seems to want to be honest with you but Michaela does not want you, man. She has a boyfriend, so just let it go.” Josh paused momentarily, shaking his head as he swiftly pulled his jacket on. He shifted his attention, and Tyler, with a smirk on his lips. “I’m going to prove you wrong; that’s my girl.”

Josh had been standing outside her dorm room for a few minutes, but it felt longer. I didn’t understand why I was so nervous, I had been here before, but this was different. I was sure that Michaela knew how I felt for her, but I never directly said it to her. I just assumed she knew, and I hoped that she would come around, but it didn’t as she would, so this was my opportunity. My knuckles pressed against the wooden door, knocking on it slightly. The sound was loud enough for her to hear but still low enough so no one else would come out. The door crept open, his lips held a smile, and his eyes lit up at the sight of her. Michaela was wearing an oversized t-shirt, and her hair was tossed in a high ponytail. She looked beautiful, but she always looked beautiful. “What are you doing here, Josh?” Her question caught him off guard, and confusion swept his feature as Michaela leaned against the wooden door.

I lifted my shoulders upward in a slight shrug. “I wanted to see you.” That’s the only words that I could muster. Michaela nodded her head a few times as she took a step aside, which allowed me entrance into her dorm room; her frame rested against the door momentarily before she made her way into the kitchen and placed herself onto the wooden stool. “Josh. . .” The sound of my name on her lips caused the speed of my heart to pick up; blue eyes landed on her emerald orbs. “What do you want from me?” My eyelids blinked a few times as I sat across from her, my palms pressed against her exposed knees. “I just want you, Michaela.” The apples of her cheeks turned slightly red as she shook her head, her feet pressed against the tile as she created some distance between us. “Josh, you are not going to get in my head. I’ve heard all about you, you say all this sweet stuff, and in reality, all you want is to fuck me. I’m sure that you’ve been fine these past few weeks. Am I right?” Michaela’s words caused short laughter to emit from my lips, Michaela’s green eyes rolled in their orbits, and my head shook. “You are wrong, completely and utterly wrong because being without you is ripping me to shreds and unlike you..And unlike you, I can’t just 

pretend that I don’t feel anything because I feel everything for you. Michaela, I just want you.” Michaela’s green orbs scanned my features; she shook her head and mumbled something under her breath, and before I could say another word, her lips pressed against mine and my fingers danced against the fabric of her shirt; brushing against her skin as I lifted her upward and placed her own the countertop. Our lips moved together in a feverish kiss, her body pressed against my chest as she wrapped her arms around my neck and the softest of moans uttered from her lips which were mixed in with my groans. “What the fuck?” The voice of an unfamiliar person caught me off guard as my eyelids fluttered open, and my attention was pulled from Michaela to him. “Who the hell are you?” My arms wrapped around her waist as my eyes stayed on him. “I’m Shawn, Michaela’s boyfriend. What the fuck, Michaela?” In a blink of an eye, Michaela slipped out of my arms. “Josh, I'm sorry you have to go. Please..” My head shook at her words. “Are you serious right now? I know that you are fucking with me.” My eyes were still on her, and shock was evident in my features. “You heard her, get the fuck out, or I’ll make you!” Michaela’s head shook, her eyes were filled with sorrow, and dry laughter escaped my mouth. “I’m out of here, don’t get comfortable, Shawn; she’s our girl, not yours.”

And in that moment, I knew that Michaela felt the same thing for me, which was real. I was going to get what I wanted no matter what. No one could keep us apart, and I guess that’s how we became a tragedy. But she was mine, and I was hers. Even if it was tragic. 

"𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕟𝕕, 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕓𝕖𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘."