⋆ CHAPTER TWELVE - DROWNING PART TWO ⋆

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“It’s hard, isn’t it? Living with a shattered heart. You breathe in and hope the shards don’t pierce your lungs. But, eventually, they will. There is no escape from it. You will bleed. You will gasp. And you will scar. Because in the end, the pain will be the death of you and a part of you likes the way the pieces make you bleed.”

⋆ CHAPTER TWELVE - DROWNING PART TWO ⋆

The truth had finally poured out and Michaela was met with a different type of pain she couldn’t understand. Why would he do this to her? Michaela didn’t understand any of this. Josh had made it clear that he wanted her and to be honest, she wanted him too. But, she was bound to a pact that she made with 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧, as well as a promise to 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. That was the reason why she never paid Josh any mind and just continued to tell herself that it was a phase and he would move on, and find someone that could love him the way he deserved but Josh did the unthinkable. He took something from her, something that she could never get back. He stole her 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲. She had control over one thing, and he took that from her. Why would he do this to her? He claimed he cared about her, that he “loved” her but if this was all true. Why would he do this? How could he do this to her? Michaela couldn’t understand the logic behind it. Michaela thought she knew him, she thought that she knew him to his core. And, if anyone ever said that this would be their story, she would’ve never believed them. Josh was supposed to be 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭. For some reason, Michaela had always felt like they had this pull, that they were tethered to one another so this realization was suffocating. Michaela had more questions than answers, she was confused and her heart was shattered by him.

"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞."

The silence in the apartment swallowed her whole, single tear glided down her porcelain cheek as her back was pressed into the mattress. “Michaela?” Silence. “Michaela?” Silence. “Mich, where are you?” Silence. “Michaela, please answer me.?” Silence. No words could escape her mouth and she couldn’t move, in her current state she was paralyzed. The pain had won, it had taken over her, and no matter how hard she tried–she was stuck. The pleas from her eldest sister caused a few droplets of tears to stream down her face. Her lids blinked a couple of times and the sound of heels hitting the ground increased Stacy gradually approached her. “Michaela?” Silence. “Michaela, please talk to me. I’m sorry. I am really sorry. I just thought that we were helping you by keeping everything away from you. Please say something, anything.” Silence. A soft groan erupted from her throat as she languidly lifted herself upward. Every bone in her body ached and was screaming at her as she sat upward, her back resting against the headboard as her eyelids blinked a few times to regain consciousness; stripping away the thoughts before taking a gander at the woman she called her sister,  which only caused a faint sigh to slip past Michaela’s plump lines. “Stacy.” Michaela managed to utter after moments of complete silence. Stacy’s lips curled into a small smile, and a sigh escaped Stacy’s lips as she sat up and looked at Michaela, Stacy sat at the edge of the bed. Stacy placed her palm over Michaela’s ankle and she nodded. “Take your time.” Michaela had been dealing with this pain on her own, her sister disappeared into thin air and all of her friends eventually left. No one stayed. And, when they did come around, they were constantly telling her that she was 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 and to live for them and how her death would affect them. They were all selfish. They wanted the bubbly and happy version that she had given them, which was a mask. It wasn’t real. Michaela couldn’t remember the last time she was genuinely happy because, in reality, that girl had died long ago. She died at the hands of her family. How comical. “I’m here for you, I am all ears.” It took Michaela a few seconds to comprehend what her sister was saying and once it had resonated within her mind, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Scuffing at her sister as she shook her head slightly, she swiftly yanked the coral duvet from her body as her lithe legs dangled against the edge of the bed. She placed her palms against the duvet as she slowly lifted herself upward; wobbling lightly as she tried to gain her balance she felt her sister press her hands against her back to help her stand. Her head rattled once more as she inhaled a deep breath. Clenching her eyelids shut momentarily as she tried to ease her pain. “Stacy, how do you think I feel? When I came back to California, I had no idea what happened to me or why I was in so much pain. I was left alone constantly. You and mom didn’t come looking for me, didn’t check on me. I expected this from our mother but not you. I was in the hospital, I was close to death and you were nowhere to be found. Do you really think that I want you here now, hm?” The words that were uttered from her lips came out in a hushed tone, you could hear the crank in her voice as droplets of tears glided downward as she slowly pulled herself away from Stacy’s helping hands. “Mich, I am sorry. I truly am but I was here for you. I’m guessing you don’t remember and that’s fine but I was here for you w–.” Stacy shifted her gaze from Michaela as her words trailed off, Michaela was confused. “When what, Stacy? Tell me. I need to know!” The words belted outwards in a high pitch tone and Stacy turned her attention back onto Michaela, and she nodded. “When you woke up in a pool of blood.” The confusion was evident on Michaela’s features, her head shaking rapidly. “B..B.Blood..?” The word was uttered in a soft voice, almost a whisper as she questioned. “M, you had a miscarriage.” The line was the final straw, her hand rested against her stomach and a scream emitted from her throat as her legs languidly lost their place and her knees collapsed to the ground. “No. No. No. No. No. No.” She repeated the words as she moved back and forth, Stacy quickly wrapped her arms around Michaela and the two rocked back and forth as uncontrolled sobs bounced off the walls. At this moment, all Stacy could do was hold her sister, and allow her to feel all of the pain and the pieces of her memory flashed in Michaela’s mind.

“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.”

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[FLASHBACK]

 “Are you fucking serious right now?” The words that spewed from Stacy’s mouth caused Michaela to snap out of her own thoughts as she shook her head. “Did you lose, again?” Michaela teased her older sister as she giggled. “Look, this game is difficult and I’m trying my best to keep up with the team.” Stacy mused, narrowing her hues into slits towards Michaela. “It’s just a video game, dearest sister.” Michaela lifted her head upward to meet Stacy’s gaze and she couldn’t help the laughter that emitted from her throat. A sharp pain washed over her and she groaned. “You alright, Mouse?” Michaela shook her head as she gradually lifted herself from the couch. “I just got really dizzy and there is an agonizing pain in my side. I’m just going to get some rest.  Enjoy your game.” Michaela mumbled, a small smile ghosting on her lips as Stacy nodded. Michaela had been feeling a slight surge of pain for the past couple of days, it was on and off but it was unbearable, and the majority of the time she could just sleep the pain away. Medication was out of the question, her mother made that perfectly clear the first time she asked. Her mother thought that she would go back to popping pills to ease her pain–she wasn’t completely wrong but Michaela was over the tough love. It wasn’t helpful but no one ever listened to her. The sound of thunder caused Michaela to jerk upward, her eyelids sprung open as her dark eyes scanned the room. She inhaled, and she exhaled as the rate of her heart slowed down. “Relax.” She said, her fingers running through her chocolate tresses. Michaela felt a slight pain in her stomach, and her fingers tugged the duvet away. Her eyelids blinked a couple of times as her left arm extended outward and tugged at the string to cause the pitch-dark room to light up. Her eyes widen, and confusion swept her features. “Stacy! Stacy! Stacy, where are you?!” The words belted out and in a matter of minutes, Stacy burst into Michaela’s room. “Mouse are you okay?” She spoke, and Michaela’s index finger pointed to the crimson-colored liquid. “Really? I thought it was something serious. You are just having your period. Just go clean up, you big baby.” Laughter escaped Stacy’s plump lips, her eyes rolling in their orbits. Michaela shook her head, the fear that Stacy saw in her sister’s eyes caused her to place her hand against Michaela’s knee. “When was the last time you had your period, Mouse?” The tone was soft and filled with concern, Michaela’s mouth opened slightly but no words came out. Michaela lifted her shoulder’s upward in a nonchalant shrug. “Let’s get you up, come on, Mouse.” Michaela rapidly shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks felt like acid. “What’s wrong with me, Stac?” Stacy used her fingers to wipe the tears that escaped Michaela’s eyes. “I–I–I think you are having a miscarriage.” The words that Stacy uttered left Michaela lost for words, it took her a brief moment to comprehend what Stacy was saying. “No, that..that can’t be it. I’m a virgin, I have never had sex before.” Stacy nodded, she wrapped her arms around Michaela’s waist and pulled her in for a warm embrace as she whispered. “We will figure it out, Mouse. I promise.”

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[END OF FLASHBACK]

“𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝.”

The truth had finally been made clear for Michaela, her trauma was no longer clouded, and the memories came back to her in waves. Sometimes she found comfort in the past and other times, it was agonizing pain and she still didn’t understand why he did this to her. There were layers behind his betrayal. 𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 had ruined her and even though it was painful, she needed to see him. Michaela wasn’t sure why she needed him around her but she did the only difference this time was she was the one that sought him out. A sigh emitted from Michaela’s throat, and her whiskey-tainted hues glanced at the clock. “It’s time.” She mumbled to herself, pulled herself from her current position, and with each step she took was a step closer to 𝒉𝒊𝒎. Michaela’s heart was beating at a rapid speed as she stood in front of him and cleared her throat which caused his head to slowly lifted upward. The smirk curled upon his lips only increased the speed of her heart she shook her head. “Emerald, you look divine. I’ve missed you.” Rolling chestnut eyes clockwise at Josh prior to a sigh falling from plump lips. “I see you haven’t changed much, same ole Joshua Grant. Pathetic.” She rose her index finger as she noticed he wanted to speak, wagging her finger. “No. You have done all the talking so for once, you are going to listen.” Josh’s smirk only widened, his blue eyes scanned her features as he lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “I 𝐰𝐚𝐬 pregnant, Josh. I had a miscarriage and based on your little video, it was probably yours.” The smirk that was plastered on his features slowly disappeared and Michaela dropped the ivory-covered envelope on the table and pivoted on the balls of her heels, turning completely away from him. “I’ll be seeing you, Joshua.” 

“𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞.”