⋆ CHAPTER THREE - MOONDUST ⋆

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“I long to hear your voice, but still, I make a choice to bury my love in the moondust.
Nothing can breathe in space and colder than the darkest sea. I have dreams about the days, driving through your sunset breeze but the first thing I will do is bury my love for you.”

⋆ CHAPTER THREE - MOONDUST  ⋆

Michaela Williams has had a tragic life, she had given her heart to the world, and each time that she had, she had felt a slight crack. A crack that was swallowing her whole; with each crack that she felt on her heart—the more the light in her eyes disappeared. She had spent her younger years trying to find herself, and she ended up losing herself. But did she even truly know who she was? Probably not. She had been stuck in this trance that she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror without feeling this surge of hatred for the girl staring back at her.

 

She didn’t hate the world; she hated herself.

She hated everything about herself.

She hated the way she smiled, she hated the sound of her own voice, and most of all, she hated how broken she was.

The girl that was once filled with love and light had been transformed into someone she didn’t even recognize anymore.

The cracks in her heart were piercing her chest. Slicing her deep as she found herself begging for the pain, wanting the pain to remind her that she was alive. But was she truly living, or was she just a shell of the girl she used to be?

A rare migraine formed in her temporal lobe as ivory caps lifted from sage hues. Taking in the scene around her physique and the scent of freshly cooked bacon clung to the morning air, the taste of alcohol still lingering on her taste buds. Finally pulling her form from the magenta-colored sheets, her gaze slides across the mingled mess of clothes across the auburn wood. Her head shook slightly at the mess before she turned away from the mess and marched to the bathroom at a quickened pace. Slamming the door with enough force to rattle the hinges and frame, she drinks in her reflection in the mirror. Inhaling a deep breath, her dainty digits coxed with the marble countertop, and she leaned in only a few inches from her own reflection. She tilted her head. Her chocolate tresses cascaded down her bare back, chestnut-colored eyes widened, and coral plump lips twisted into a slight smile. The smallest of smiles that she could muster before her head dropped, resting against the glass, and her fingers only tightened the hold of their hand on her countertop.

“This is your karma, Michaela. . .” The words were uttered from her lips in a hushed tone, tapping her head against the glass lightly as her father’s smile flashed across her mind, which caused a single tear to glide down her porcelain cheek; the brunette continued to tap her head against the glass.

The karma that she was referring to being the night that she couldn’t remember. Maybe all of this was happening since she didn’t come to see her father; she chose herself at that moment and now. . .She was suffering the consequences. “This is your fault.” Words drifted from her lips as her head continued to tap against the glass. The more she thought of her life choices the harder she tapped her head against the glass.

“You did this.”

“It’s your fault.”

“You deserve this.” 

Those were the words that she spoke, she had lost count of how many times she had hit her head against the glass, but the sound of a slight crack caused her to lift her head upward. Crimson liquid oozed downward and onto her plump petals as her tongue glided to capture her own blood in her mouth. Her hues never pulled away from her reflection, and she took a step backward.

“You deserved it.”

 Laughter resonated from the depths of her chest, pressing her palm onto the marble surface to catch her balance and her head shook slightly as her eyes blinked a few times. The reflection in the mirror held someone else in it, and her head pulled forward as she wobbled slightly on the soles of her bare feet.

 “Stop this.” His tone was stern, but she could hear the sadness behind them. She shook her head slightly to return to reality, but his presence still lingered in the room, his bare chest pressed against her. He spoke in a hushed tone as an arm wrapped around her waist—he held her as he spoke. “I need you to stop this, please.” Michaela knew that he wasn’t here; this was due to the blood that was dripping from her head and the alcohol that was still pumping in her veins.

 “Y—”

Before responding to his request, she heard the tug of the doorknob as the door opened slowly, and Selina’s hues landed on her. “Mich, what the hell? I swear to God, if you are trying to kill yourself, I’ll murder you myself.” Her best friend quickly tugged her into a warm embrace, signing as she used the towel to wipe the dried-up blood from Michaela’s head. “Please find something to live for, please,” Selina spoke in a hushed tone which caused Michaela’s eyelids to shut slowly, the words still circulating in her head as the brunette drifted away into a slight slumber.

𝗜'𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻

𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

“. . . My theory is about moments. Moments of impact. I believe these moments of impact, these high-intensity flashes that completely turn our lives upside down, ultimately define who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the sum of every moment that we’ve ever experienced, with all the people we’ve ever known. It is these moments that become our history, like our own personal greatest hits of memories, that we play and replay in our minds repeatedly. A moment of total, physical, mental, and every other kind of love. So, that is my theory that these moments of impact define who we are. A moment of impact. A moment of impact has potential for change and has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together, making them closer than before, while sending others off into great ventures, ending where you never thought you’d find them. You see, that’s the best thing about moments like these; you can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how they will affect you. You just got to let these colliding particles land where they may and wait until the next collision.

And these moments of impact were about to leave Michaela at the edge of her sanity. . .”

Michaela’s eyelids fluttered open, lifting her head from the sheets that she was tangled in. Wiping away the tiredness that clung to her porcelain features. “Mich, please make sure that you eat today, I’ll be back.” The sound of her best friend’s voice caused her to snap out of her thoughts, but before she could utter her own reply, she heard the door slam behind Selina, which meant she had already made her exit. It wasn’t unusual for Selina to leave so abruptly; her best friend had her own demons to deal with, and Michaela needed to play with her own demons. Michaela was used to it, but that didn’t mean that she enjoyed being alone. A faint sigh elicited from her lips, delicate feet tip from the heel to the toe as she took another step forward as she made her way out of her empty room to the large hallway. Brown irises shift around before squinting as something catches her eyes until she notices a pair of white wings, the feathers expanding outward, each feather covered in the whitest shade she had ever seen. The purity of the sight before her caused her breath to hitch in the confines of her throat, and she twists on her heels as her strides pick up in speed; shoving her way into a room yet to be explored as her heart rings in her ears she leans her curved figure against the wall. As her gaze rotates around the room, a suppressed memory yanks at her conscious mind as the room melts away and she’s placed back in time, the sound of music ringing in her ears, her gaze shifting around the room as the confusion sweeps her porcelain features. “Can you see it?”

The raspy tone spoke, her head shifting from left to right, searching for where the voice came from, but she couldn’t find it. Why was she back here? Was this her way of trying to remember?

 “Can you see me?” His words spoke once more, snapping her from her thoughts as she was brought back to the memory and the sound of her own laughter caused her mossy orbs to land on the version of herself that she couldn’t remember. The girl she saw before her was stumbling on her feet, and her chocolate tresses were in a messy bun as she laughed. Michaela could see the damage in her own eyes.

 “Look closer.”

 Her hues shifted from the mess of herself onto the man standing near the bar; for a moment, she felt as if he saw her. The anger was evident in his features as he stepped forward. He cleared his throat as he shifted on his feet. She could see him move forward to her, but before he reached her, Selina had rushed towards her friend. She lifted Michaela from the ground.

 “No more drinking for you. I need to take you home, Mich.” Tuneful giggles resonated from Michaela’s throat as her words uttered, slurring every word that she spoke. “Selina, you worry too much. I’m fine.” She placed a chaste kiss on her best friend's cheek, and she lifted from the wooden chair as her arms extended outward.

 “Who’s ready to keep parting?” The crowd screamed, and her giggles continued as she watched herself get lost among the crowd of people.

 Just as fast as she was placed in the memory, she was brought back to reality. Her back was pressed against the wall, and she looked down as she held the feather within her slender digits.

 “I’ll help you remember, Pomegranate.” His words repeated in her head as a stray tear glided down her porcelain features and droplets hit the white feather.

“. . . . ɪ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ɪ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀʏ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴᴅᴜꜱᴛ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴜʀɪᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴᴅᴜꜱᴛ.”