⋆ CHAPTER ON - TITLE TRACK ⋆

 

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“I just want to run away, find somewhere that feels safe. Find somewhere the bad days don’t come as often in this sad phase. Somewhere I can be loved, where I don’t have to run away from my flaws, and I don’t have to be afraid of my thoughts.”

                                                         ⋆ CHAPTER ONE - TITLE TRACK ⋆

Michaela Williams, now known as the Black Sheep of the Williams family, was on a path of distraction. A path that she felt like she was a l w a y s meant to be on. The girl that seemed to have it all, didn’t have anything. Maybe this was her own doing or maybe she was scared of being anything else, that she didn’t even try. Why try? Why put in the effort? Her mother had already deemed her as useless-” a waste of space.” - as she had put it. Her mother did have a way with words, after all, the only person that believed in her was her older sister, Stacy, but at the rate that Michaela was going--, she wouldn’t even have Stacy.

How did she get here you ask?

The answer to that question was one that she couldn’t answer, she couldn’t remember who she was or how to get back to her. She was spiraling out of control and it didn’t seem like she would ever stop. Why should she stop? Society and her mother had already deemed her as reckless and unhinged--maybe it was best to bask in her new role.

But did she really deserve what happened to her? That’s a question she wished she could answer, only if she could actually remember what happened to her. . . .

The sound of the pitter-patter of the rain hitting her window caused a soft groan to erupt from the depths of her throat, her eyelids fluttering open as her back was still pressed against the coral sheets, tapping her fingers against her duvet. Her hues fixated upon the ceiling fan; moving with the spinning object in front of her. Her lips pressed together as her mind continued to wonder. She had assumed that taking her medicine would allow her to sleep through the rain but she felt as if she hadn’t slept an ounce. The past couple of weeks had been hell, she had returned to California due to winding up at the hospital, and ever since her return--her mother wouldn’t let her forget it. The constant fights were draining, Michaela had gotten used to her mother’s stern behavior but this time it was non-stop and she was exhausted. Michaela couldn’t remember what happened that night, she didn’t know how she ended up in the hospital. All she remembered was this ache...an ache that she had only felt once before and that was when she found out that her father had died; an ache that she had been able to bury but this ache was different, she didn’t know where this ache was coming from and she couldn’t remember anything.

Michaela lifted herself upward slowly, groaning as she felt the ache pierce through her frame. Sage orbs shifted towards the bright light that was blinking from her iPhone. Her slender arm reached outward, her digits coaxed with the device as she placed the phone against her ear.

“Hey, Lina, what’s up?” 

“Thank God! I thought you were dead, where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering my text?”

Michaela’s head shook slightly, her free hand yanked at the duvet as she allowed her physique to sit up straight and the soles of her bare feet kissed the wooden surface.

“Lina, relax. I was going to call you but mother dearest hasn’t let me out of her sight. I’m in California, I thought Stacy would’ve told you that.” Michaela thought it was odd that her sister didn’t tell Selina, that was her best friend after all. Maybe it slipped her mind, it had to be that. What other reason would Stacy have to not tell her?

“Are you fucking serious? That’s bullshit. I was trying to see you at the hospital but the nurse on and on about only family could see you. Did they tell you what happened?”

Confusion was evident on Michaela’s features, her feet pressing against the wooden surface as she made her way towards the kitchen. A yawn slipped her lips as she flicked the light on which brought life back to the darkened apartment.

“Lina, you are literally confusing the hell out of me. I don’t remember what happened that night, when I woke up I saw Stacy and before I could blink, I was back in California. What am I missing? Do you know something I don’t?”

For a few seconds, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of the rain. Selina didn’t say a word which didn’t bring Michaela comfort, she felt sick. She placed her palm against the wooden surface to give her support.

“Lina, hello? Hello?”

Sigh uttered from her best friend. “Mich, I need you to sit down for this one.”

Michaela shook her head instantly, she knew that Selina couldn’t see her but it was a reflex. “Just tell me, tell me what happened.”

The beat of Michaela’s heart picked up speed, her fingers clung onto the sink.

“Michaela, you...you were raped. By two guys and they f-.”

Before Selina could finish her sentence, Michaela could feel her heart beating at a rapid speed and her head became dizzy. The balance that she had slowly disappeared as her knees hit the wooden surface, the phone that she had next to her ear languidly fell to the ground and the sound of Selina calling her name as a shriek uttered from her mouth. Michaela’s whole body collapsed. At that moment, she knew exactly what the ache was--she knew that she wouldn’t be able to return from this.

They stole a piece of her and the worst part is that I didn't remember a thing.

END OF PART ONE

❝ If I'm a painter, I'd be a Depressionist. I need this time to decompress

from this ketamine, this cocaine; this medicine for my growing pain.

This weed I've been smoking, I'm dying inside. . . .❞