⋆ CHAPTER FOUR - EMPTY SPACE ⋆

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“You don’t know how fragile she is until you wake up one day and there are pieces 

on the floor, and you don’t know if it’s glass or her words because she hides her 

heart well because she doesn’t even know how broken she is.”

⋆ CHAPTER FOUR - EMPTY SPACE ⋆

Michaela had been going through the motions the past couple of weeks, she didn’t feel anything, and when she did feel—it was a consuming feeling that she couldn't deal with, and the more she tried to move on from the situation, the harder it became. The night of the incident still wasn’t clear to her, and the more she tried to remember, the anger she got. Why couldn’t she remember? Why did this happen to her? Was this what she deserved for not saying goodbye to her father? Michaela was unsure, but those questions lingered in her head. She felt as if she couldn’t do anything—she felt powerless and empty. She had tried to fill the space with her friends and family, but they could see the emptiness in her mossy hues; she hadn’t been keeping up with her hygiene; her hair was greasy, and she had lost a significant amount of weight. Michaela no longer looked like herself, and she felt as if she was slipping away. The more she tried to grasp at her life, the further she felt it slip away—reminded her of quicksand. 

Michaela just needed answers, the footage that she found of the rape wasn’t helpful, and Selina wasn’t there at the time, so she had no answers for her. Michaela tried to put a face to the voices but came up empty every time. Was her mind blocking out the trauma? It had to be because she remembered everything else but that night. Michaela was tired of feeling this way, and she was tired of this pain. She was tired of the anger. The emptiness was clawing at her—pulling her deeper into her depression.

Crushing sentiments swallowed her whole. Her digits twitched with the need to destroy, to express the hurricane raging inside in a destructive manner. She lifted her petite figure from the comfortable surface of her mattress as moisture formed on the rim of her mossy hues, gliding along her porcelain cheeks. The destruction started small as her agile extremities clutched to her duvet, yanking free the cozy material from her mattress. She shoved all her pillows off until her floor was covered in plush objects. The sound of laughter echoed in her ears, and that suffocating sound took hold of her once more. Her matte petals sundered for a shriek to release from her vocal cords. Extending her delicate feet as she sauntered to the bedside table, she shoved off the various items until the surface was clean. Moving onto her dresser, she began to yank out the drawers with rough force, pulling free the wooden confinements and dumping the contents onto her floor; various fabrics spread across the cream carpet. Her chest heaved with each breath she drew in as crystal tears blinded her vision, and she dropped to the floor, tugging her knees to her torso to fold into herself as liquid slithered along her cheeks. Red trails were left behind as she cried into her knees. “Why did you do this to me? Why did you do this to me? Please take it back, please…” The words that she spoke were uttered in a hushed tone, the tears still cascading down her cheeks, and her face was buried in her knees. Michaela could no longer be strong, she was breaking, and nothing she did could change her feelings. 

“It’s going to be alright, Pomegranate.” His soft words caused her head to lift upward, wiping away the salty droplets that managed to escape the rim of her eyes; scanning the chaotic room, she combed her lengthy digits through her curly tresses. 

“Who are you? Did my dad send you?” Her tone was soft, and her eyelids blinked a few times as she shifted her gaze. The voice of a man that she couldn’t see. Did she hear things? The trauma was clearly causing her to fall deeper down the rabbit hole.

“I’m sorry, Pomegranate, it wasn’t your father that sent me…” He paused momentarily, and he cleared his throat as his words drifted outward. “I just care about your safety, Michaela, and want to make sure that you find the missing pieces regarding that night.” How he said, her name caused a chill to run down her back. Her heartbeat picked up as she scanned the room, placing her palms against the wooden surface as she pushed herself upward; her balance wobbled slightly as she pressed her palm to the ivory wall. A muted sigh escaped her throat.

 “Why can’t I see you?” As the words tumbled out of her mouth, she felt a surge of pain in her chest which caused her to rest her palm against her chest, whimpering as the pain languidly disappeared. The mystery man was gone, she couldn’t see him, but she knew that he wasn’t here--it was odd, but she couldn’t feel his presence anymore.

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"ɪ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇꜱ ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ʜᴏʟᴅɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ 

ᴀꜱ ɪᴛ ʜɪᴅᴇꜱ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴄʜᴇꜱᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇ."

Turning her head to the sky as eyelids fluttered beneath the brilliant light glowing through the parted clouds that seemed to glare down at her in unyielding disapproval; her fingers outstretched over the cold, rigid ground holding her frame. Michaela wasn’t fond of the rain, and she truly hated thunder, but she couldn’t help herself. She needed to get out of that room and figure out what was happening to her. Darkened tresses fall down her shoulders as she shifts her weight onto her feet and folds her arms over her chest, clenching hazel eyes shut when the vision of a pair of blue eyes comes through her memory in swift flashes. The blue eyes had been haunting her for the last couple of nights, all she saw were his eyes, and she knew that they didn’t belong to her father. Was this the missing piece that she needed.. Her palms gilded against her stomach, which sent a shiver to run down her back. The light that was once illuminated by the sun had shifted, the rain slowly dropping downward, which was surprisingly fitting for this moment. Michaela’s head dropped as tears slowly slid down her porcelain cheeks, the pair of blue eyes playing in her mind.

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[FLASHBACK]

“Michaela, Michaela, Michaela!” The sound of her name caused the brunette to twirl on the balls of her shoes, her dark locks causing a veil over her mossy hues as she tugged it behind her ear and caught a glimpse of the male, his lips curled into a smirk as he inhaled and exhaled; trying to catch his breath as he shook his head lightly. 

“For a petite girl, you walk pretty fast. I’ve been calling your name for what felt like hours.” He chuckled lowly, taking a step forward as his cobalt hues locked with hers. 

Michaela shook her head as she lifted her shoulders upward in a nonchalant shrug, and she pressed her books against her chest. “You know the deal, Josh. You must keep up, or you’ll get lost in the crowd.” Laughter emitted from her throat as she turned on the balls of her heels. “Come on, and we have to meet Selina and the guys. I am starving.”

He chuckled; he wrapped his arm around her neck as he pulled her close to him. “One of these days, I'll be able to keep up with you, and your boyfriend back home will have to just deal with losing you, M.” 

Pressing the books closer to her chest, her hues rolled in their orbits as she shook her head. Tilting her head slightly, her brown irises landed on his features. “You say this all the time, J. We both know that I'm not leaving him, but only time will tell.” 

Smirk curled upon her lips as he looked down at her, his lips hovering over hers as he placed a chaste kiss against her forehead. “Time will tell, M.” 

Inhaling his scent as his words mumbled against her forehead before he pulled away, she just chuckled to herself as the last line uttered, “Don’t go aiming for the moon, blue eyes.”

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[END OF FLASHBACK]

Michaela allowed the rain to fall around her, her body shivering as her bare feet pressed against the ground, and her eyelids clung shut. The pain caused her to lean forward as her fingers coaxed with the silver railing, her head dropping as the blue eyes that haunted her memories came to light. 

Michaela couldn’t believe this, but why would he do this? Why would he hurt her in this way?

Her knees buckled as the balance that she once had started to slip away, her physique languidly dropped to the ground as her fingers still held onto the railing and the rain from the sky only fell onto her at a faster rate.

“Josh, why..?” The pain in her voice was evident; one of the missing pieces from that night had fallen into her lap. Michaela knew who the blue eyes belonged to, but it didn’t make her feel better. It made her feel worse.

She felt a palm pressed against her shoulder blade, her hues still shut, but his presence made her heart beat at a calmer rate. “Pomegranate, be patient, everything will play out, and you shall have the answers you seek.”

"ꜱʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ, ꜱʜᴇ ʙᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ꜰʟᴀᴍᴇꜱ. ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀꜱʜ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ."